Most people have questions they would like to ask a psychologist. I have collected some commonly asked questions and provided answers below. If you have other questions, please call the office as we would be happy to give you further information.

Who decides to go to a therapist?

Anyone who would like to feel better or learn new strategies and approaches to life and relationships might want to go to therapy sessions. It’s important to realize, though, that just as with medical treatments, such as surgery, many people feel more uncomfortable after treatment begins before they feel better. Therapy is a process, though, and is more like learning something new, instead of a medical treatment, such as getting a shot of penicillin. You, the client, are very involved in the process of therapy and in whatever changes you experience.

Isn’t therapy only for people with serious problems?

That used to be true, just as people used to only go to dentists to have their teeth pulled. Now, people go to dentists to have preventative work done so they can avoid losing their teeth and can save themselves from pain. Similarly, now people go to therapists to enhance their enjoyment of life as well as to avoid losing relationships, sleep, jobs, and whatever else is important to them.

Why go to a therapist?

Getting hidden frustrations, fear, and pain into the open in a supportive environment usually helps people feels better about themselves so they can find more effective ways of dealing with challenging issues or people. Even people who have many good friends and a close family might benefit from seeing a therapist because therapists listen differently from the way friends and family members do. Going to therapy is not a guarantee that things will get better in your life. Some people change a lot in therapy and some change very little. You have control over how much you change.

What if I don’t know exactly what’s wrong or what to ask for?

Many people who come for therapy only know that “something isn’t right” or “I’m miserable” or “I can’t sleep well.” During the process of therapy, the client and therapist can work together to more accurately identify what is bothering you so you can more effectively improve your life.

How long does therapy last?

Some people come for a few sessions and some people come for a few years. You can decide how many issues you want to work on, how intensely you want to work in sessions, what books you want to read between sessions, and if you want to take a break. Sometimes people work on some issues and then take a break for a while, returning for additional sessions or to work on new issues that have crept up. In some ways, the need for therapy on and off continues. It’s like having a new car that will eventually need to have the oil changed or new tires. Everything we’re involved with, including ourselves, needs periodic work to function well. One client I have describes follow-up therapy as representing “a 10,000 thought check-up.”

What is the difference between psychology and psychiatry?

Therapists who work in the area of psychology studied psychology in school and learned to do therapy by talking with people or using other non-medical approaches. Psychiatrists went to medical school and can prescribe medications to help people deal with situations, feelings, or issues. Many clients go to a psychiatrist for medications and also go to a therapist to learn more effective ways of dealing with life. Most therapists and psychiatrists expect to work together to help clients make changes in their lives. Research has shown that just taking medication is not usually an effective way to make changes that last; it is usually necessary to include therapy to have changes that last.

I need advice on what to do. Is therapy the right place to find it?

Therapists help people figure out what they want to do rather than telling them or advising them about what to do. It’s important to realize that no one can effectively tell someone else what to do because the person making the decision or taking the action is the one who will experience and absorb the consequences of the decision or action. Therapists can only make decisions about their own lives. They help clients figure out what decisions or actions clients want for their own lives.

What is involved in marriage/relationship therapy?

Sometimes people want to learn how to find the right person for their marriage/relationship or if they have found the right person. The answer is that marriages or relationships that remain effective over the years involve more intentional action than luck. We each have strengths and weaknesses; having successful relationships involves us learning to appreciate each other’s strengths and tolerate each other’s weaknesses, just as we hope our partners will do with us. When we look for someone who is a “soulmate” or “the right person” rather than looking for a fellow human being with whom to share a life, we set ourselves up for failure. When we look for a real person rather than hoping for a fantasy of living happily ever after, we set ourselves up for the possibility of success.